Beware, Aware! Masked rage on the loose

We’d had an anxious week.

I was on a hairtrigger when the internet started being difficult. The supermarket’s website would let me demand a refund but had no room for simple feedback. Your salad potatoes were damp and green and had to be thrown out. I will never buy those again.

Then Telstra replied to every query or attempted complaint with the recommendation that I download their App. Download on a different device and start all over again. Thanks a lot. I telephoned. No answer. Download the App, an electronic voice suggested.

Then – oh then – my Superannuation fund emailed. Dear Penny, they began. They said that I would be excited to know that they have changed their name.

First State Super is now AWARE.

I did know, actually. They emailed the same good news in July. I replied then that it sounded like a grand fiesta for the brand managers, but a waste of money for investors. They would do better not to charge for advice that was never received. Besides, the name… I wrote a little ditty:

They called the re-branders, they’re walking on air/ First State Super is now called Aware.

They hope their new image is modern and fair/ Did nobody notice it rhymes with Beware?

Of course nobody deigned to reply.

I sent the rhyme to the letters editor of the Australian Financial Review, who did not print it.

Who gives a damn about superannuants in a rage, really?

“I’m off for a walk and a tram ride, to calm down,” I announced. Michael nodded.

It was a lovely spring afternoon. There were only a handful of people on the tram. I got off in Surry Hills and walked through quiet streets to the Fabric Store, where I bought some very attractive cotton fabric. While it was being wrapped, there were yells of terror from a nearby building. The other customer and I jumped in alarm.

“Drama school next door,” the sales assistant explained. I laughed. We talked about high school students’ formal dances, and whether there would be run on party fabric. I left the shop in high spirits.

I sat in the sun at Central until my tram came, then chose a quiet seat at the rear, a happy masked passenger, totally relaxed.

We were nearly at the Randwick terminus when I saw it all around me.

No escaping the brand managers….
even on a tram ride…

Beware, beware, Aware, Aware! Our bright pink posters are everywhere!

PENELOPE NELSON

8 thoughts on “Beware, Aware! Masked rage on the loose

  1. Glad you articulated the rage I felt when receiving a second email from Aware. It made me want to know the cost of the re-branding advice and subsequent advertising and printing bill. Why  didn’t they consult the fund owners – us – beforehand. I suspect I know whySent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

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  2. My father was an AdMan before after and during the glorious Madmen 50’s. He was a commercial artist by training and Very Visual !! Adds he said were bloody useless if you didn’t know what they were advertising! This one which chased you onto the nice quiet tram is a classic failure ! Small print for Aware and as Hoges would say ‘What the bloody hell is it?’

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  3. YES, exactly!! Some of the countless irritants bombarding us when we’re already fed up with everything (or almost everything)

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  4. ah yes, the Fabric Store – that would certainly cheer you up! I usually go there every trip, and try to limit myself to one purchase, not always successfully 🙂

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